The Story of Miracle Noel

I know I have LOTS of catching up to do on this blog; however, today I felt like writing about the little baby we lost. December belongs to Miracle- he/she was due this month, so I will dedicate this month and this post to him/her. Spring pictures last school year came in and as a teacher's aid I was trying to help my coworker remember to pass them out to the parents when they came to pick up their children that afternoon. At some point, she had to leave the room for some reason so when the next parent came in I picked up his child's picture packet and handed it to him. His words brought tears to my eyes: "Aww! My little princess!" After he left with his little girl I went into the restroom to compose myself and I remember thinking "I wish I could give my husband a little princess. Lord, can we have just one more biological baby? Please? Just one and I won't ask anymore". After that, I didn't think much of it again. A few weeks later (I believe this was end of March 2012)I began having weird symptoms- the first was a strange rash on my arms, legs, and belly. Noone was really sure what it was and eventually it went away. Soon, I began developing other symptoms- fatigue like I've never known before, and nausea. And then one day it hit me while watching the kids on the playground- I called for someone to come outside and relieve me and then I proceeded to run to the bathroom where I vomited in the sink. It never occurred to me that I might be pregnant until a friend of mine at work suggested I take a pregnancy test. I waited a few extra days just to be "extra sure" and that Saturday morning I woke up so sick and I just knew that that was what it was. I sent Kris to Walgreens for a test and because those things usually say "negative" for me, Kris didn't stick around to hear the results. In fact, he handed me the box and went for his shower. (Gee thanks for the support, Honey) :) A few minutes later I was staring at a postitive test in my hand. Was this the answer to the prayer I had prayed in the school restroom? It had to be!! I ran to the other bathroom and shoved the shower door open and stuck that test right in my husband's face and said "Look!" He smiled slowly, and I could tell that he was as scared as I was. After you have lost a baby, being told that you're pregnant really means nothing. A positive pregnancy test does not necessarily mean that you are having a baby in nine months. You are no longer naive and feel that you can just expect that everything will go fine. So that day, as we looked at the pregnancy test, we were scared. SCARED TO DEATH.

Immediately we decided to tell noone, other than our family, my supervisors at work, and a couple close friends. In hindsight, I see that this was a mistake because we could have had so many more prayers lifted up for us. Lesson learned, I guess. The pregnancy started out just fine- I was very sick- couldn't get much food down. I was throwing up all kinds of times throughout the day but I didn't complain because I was so happy to be pregnant again. I was hoping that the sickness was a good sign. After a few weeks, we decided to tell our son what was going on. So we took him to Cracker Barrel and told him he was going to be a big brother again. The first thing out of his mouth made me want to cry- "Really? Well I hope it comes out alive this time." You could tell he was very concerned about it. I hate it that he even knows it's a possibility that babies die. Jacob was so sweet about everything- from that moment on he prayed every day for "Mommy's baby" and after baby passed, it broke my heart the first couple of nights where in his bedtime prayers he would forget for a second and say "pray for Mommy's...oh never mind". We all prayed for this baby- on one hand I thought it has to be too good to be true. On the other hand, I thought that the signs all pointed to it being God's gift to us, our rainbow after the storm; an answer to my prayer. But then the bleeding started. I made several trips to the doctor and each time I went we saw and heard a perfect heartbeat as well as a growing baby, and all my labs came back fine. Just to be safe though, my doctor put me on an oral regimen of progesterone. The bleeding stopped for a couple of weeks and then just as my husband got ready to leave on a business trip for a week to begin a new job, I began bleeding again. Two days later, I was at the doctor's office again. As soon as he turned on the ultrasound machine I knew. All I could think was "The nightmare is here again. My lifeless baby on the screen. AGAIN." My doctor said "I'm sorry, I can't find a heartbeat." Again, the second time in four years I have heard those words. I sat there on the table gripping the sides and trying not to cry as he told me what to expect when I miscarried at home. It went in one ear and out the next. I was still stuck at "I'm sorry..." As soon as the doctor and assistant left the room I got dressed and practically ran down the hall and out the door to my truck. I got in and as I began to drive the tears finally came. I called Kris, and then my mother, and by the time I pulled into my garage I couldn't even see where I was driving. Jake figured it out by this time and said "Did our baby die?" I said "yes" and he said "Oh no, mommy, not again." I told him it was okay to cry and he sobbed when we got into the house. That was on a Monday. On Tuesday evening, after nonstop pain and bleeding since the previous Saturday, and an hour of hard contractions, Miracle Noel was delivered in the privacy of our home, with Kris still gone to Texas, and my mom entertaining my son at the other end of the house. Our little baby was perfect- all the way from his ten fingers down to his ten toes. He looked like a little boy to me, but by the time I could get him back to my doctor's office a few days later he was too delicate to move to be able to tell anything. So this is why we came up with the name "Miracle"- something neutral just in case. The original names we had picked out were "Grayson Monroe" for a boy and "Hope Noelle" for a girl. I have photos of Miracle. Since this baby was only ten weeks gestation, I will refrain from posting them. People who haven't gone through this just don't understand; and besides, I don't want to take the chance of someone doing something with them out in cyberspace. I could post ultrasound photos, but at this time it's just too painful to even do that. They are put away with all of Grant's things. My favorite photo is the one I took of Miracle's tiny hand resting on my finger. It turned out very sweet. I know that one day Miracle, in his/her new body in Heaven, will touch my finger again. And this time we can look into each other's eyes and never have to fear being separated again. I look forward to that day. We were able to bury our Miracle when my husband returned home. My doctor's office is linked up with a Catholic Church in town who buries miscarried babies under 20 weeks for free. We just were not able to afford the cost to bury him with Grant so we went ahead and had him buried here. I love the fact that my doctor's office is pro-life and was able to offer this program to us. I highly doubt many other doctor's would do that for someone so for this I am so thankful. Here is a photo of the stone near the spot where Miracle is interred-

Tomorrow, December 28, 2012, was my due date for Miracle. With the recent adoption of our daughter, it will be a bittersweet day. If Miracle were here, than Sabrina wouldn't be here. If I dwell on that and try to understand why it all turned out this way, it makes me crazy. So I won't. I do not think that it is God's will that any baby die. However, I do believe that He can take something awful and turn it into something beautiful. There will come a Day when all of our questions will have answers; and for now I have to accept that reality and find comfort in the fact that in Heaven there are no more "Goodbyes". For that I am eternally grateful.

 

She's Here!!

Well, we finally got "The Call". It's a really funny story, actually. I was at an ASCI teacher's conference in Tempe, AZ on Friday, October 19th. Since this was the second day of the conference I only had to be there a half day on Friday. My husband had sent me a text picture of our son because he had suddenly broken out into an awful rash that covered most of his body. So the last couple hours of the conference I had a hard time concentrating because I was concerned about our son. As soon as the conference let out I got in the truck and headed home as quickly as I could. After awhile, we decided we should call our primary care physician and see if we could squeeze Jacob in for an exam to see what was causing his rash. (turns out it was just from the antibiotic he was on at the time)While I was on the phone making the appointment, I heard my phone beep but I ignored it since I was on the other line. Here it was the adoption agency, and I didn't know it! In the meantime they called my husband's phone and let him know that there had been a baby born the night before and her birthmom wanted to place her for adoption and were we interested?! WERE WE INTERESTED??!! What kind of question is that?! hahaha Well, we were supposed to call them back as soon as Kris talked to me and we made a decision. He comes out to tell me that we had a call and it took me a couple of minutes to realize what he meant! So we called the agency back and told them "yes of course we are interested" and they said they wanted us to be at Banner Thunderbird Hospital asap. Well first off, that's over an hour away. Secondly, we had yet to take Jake to the doctor. Needless to say I was an emotional wreck trying to get him to the doctor and concentrate on all of that!! (I'm thinking wow can this be real, and oh no, we aren't all prepared,!! among other things!) So fast forward to the hospital- the birthmom wanted a closed adoption, therefore, we didn't get to meet her. It was kind of nice not to have that anxiety of meeting and talking to her, yet I was sad because of Sabrina because I feel it's so important for her to have her birthmom in her life. But there is nothing we can do so we will just have to help her cope with all of that later on when she is old enough to understand. By all accounts, everything went smoothly in the hospital and we were able to enjoy being there and holding her and loving on her every second that we could. We were so blessed to have our friends put us up for the night in town so everything worked out very smoothly and we were thankful for that. We named our baby girl ourselves- Sabrina Hope. I think the name speaks for itself and why we chose it. She is living proof that there can still be hope after suffering. We just love her to pieces and we are enjoying every minute with her! Please be in prayer that we find her birthfather very soon, or if we don't that our 60 day wait period goes quickly and at that time the court will sever his rights. As always, thank you for your prayers and support!

The Aftermath

So much has happened the last few months. Many of my close friends and family know, and in time I may blog about it. But for now, I just cannot talk about it. 

Have you ever been stuck in a particular season in your life that you just want to get out of? Do you feel like you have taken three steps forward only to take five steps back? That is the place where I find myself at this time in my life. I am so broken. Yet there are many days when I have no more tears left. Sometimes I even laugh because I cannot cry any longer. The one thing that I desire most in this world is so far out of reach. I wonder why the door seems to keep slamming in my face. Is this really it? Is this really how it's going to end?

My motto has always been "Never give up on your dreams." But what if your dreams give up on you? And why? What is the reason for it? What is the point? I have all of these questions; yet no answers for any of them. The only thing I really know for certain is that I am TIRED. I am SPENT. Physically, emotionally...in every way possible. There is a song by Matthew West entitled "The Reason for the World." And yes, the lyrics to this song are also full of "maybes". But as long as we are in this life; nothing is for certain. When I listen to this song, some of the confusion and uncertainty in my head goes away; and at this point in my life even a small amount of that goes a long way.

  The Reason For the World 


There are no words in times like these 
When tears don't hide the tragedies 
And all you want is a reason for the world 
No comfort in a greeting card 
Cause "God is good" 
But life's still hard 
and your heart just wants a reason for the world
  
"Cuz maybe the reason for the PAIN 
Is so we would pray for strength 
And maybe the reason for the strength 
Is so that we would not lose hope 
And maybe the reason for our hope 
Is so that we could face the world 
And the reason for the world is to make us long for HOME. 


Well I know your past the point of broken 
Surrounded by your fear 
I know you're feet are tired and weary
from the road that you walk down here 
But just keep your eyes on Heaven 
and know that you are not alone 
remember the reason for the world- 


No ear has heard 
No eye has seen 
Not even in your wildest dreams
the beauty that awaits beyond this world 
When you look into the eyes of grace 
and hear the voice of MERCY say "Child, welcome to the reason for the world."

Mother's Day...Reflections

Dear Jacob,
I just wanted you to know how incredibly thankful I am to be your mom. Most days I feel that I am not worthy of that title. You see, being a parent is an enormous responsibility; and sometimes it overwhelms me. I have one shot at this and I pray every day that I am doing it right.

I think back to all that your dad and I went through in order for you to be here. And you know what? It was worth it! Every doctor's visit, every medication, every prayer and every tear- I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. You are my precious miracle- my crazy, silly, note writing, lego loving, everything lime green, fast paced, NEVER sit still for a minute BOY. You make me laugh, you try my patience, and yet you know exactly the minute to pat my arm and say "It's gonna be ok, mommy." Thank you for making me a mom; and most of all, thank you for being YOU. I love you!

My little angel boy, Grant,
Even though you are not here, I see you everywhere. I see you in your brother's face; I see you in all the three year olds at school. I see you when I look up at the beautiful summer sky; and I see you in the beautiful sunset disappearing behind the mountains. I think of you still, every single day.

 I wonder what it will be like the day I am finally able to see you smile at me for the first time. I can't wait for you to take my hand and show me all the happiness that you have been living in all this time. But then again, there is no time in Heaven; so it will seem like I was always there with you. What a beautiful day that is going to be. I will always want you. I will always love you. You are forever a part of our family. I am so honored that God chose me to be your mom- though it was only for a little while. Thank you for all of the gifts that you left behind. I am proud to be a mother of two sweet little boys; and I will be spending the day celebrating you both. With all of my heart and soul,

 Mommy

What a Beautiful Piece of Paper!

Look what we got in the mail today...a month after the fact, but hey, it's finally here nonetheless!!

Now we just need our daughter...

Jigsaw Puzzle Fundraiser!!

A sweet friend of ours recently gave us the idea of doing a jigsaw puzzle fundraiser. We've looked around online a bit and finally decided on a puzzle. Since we are doing our baby girl's nursery in ladybugs, we thought a ladybug puzzle would be appropriate:

Isn't it adorable?! Here are the details for the fundraiser:

There are 200 pieces to this jigsaw puzzle. You may sponsor a puzzle piece for $5.00. When you sponser a puzzle piece we will write your name on the back of the puzzle piece and add it to the puzzle. If you would like to sponsor multiple pieces, you may do that as well- you have the option of sponsoring for $5.00 per piece, or just make a flat donation of whatever God has laid on your heart.
When the puzzle is completed we will be having it framed in such a way that we will be able to view it both front and back. The puzzle will be hung in our daughter's room; so that when she is old enough to understand, she will always be able to see for herself all the people who loved her enough to help her get here!

Two ways to sponsor-

• you may sponsor on our blog where you see the PayPal donate button
• you may email us via Facebook or our personal email and request our address if mailing a check is more convenient for you.

Please note- if all goes well, this will be our FINAL online fundraiser.  So if you have been wanting to help bring our daughter home now is the time to do so. We will still offer tshirts, coffee, and necklaces for a short time, but we will need to be wrapping those up as well.
If you have any questions, please ask!!

Thank you and God bless you!

Love,

Kris, and Jacob

Reflection

To my sweet angel in Heaven,

Happy Birthday, son! You would be three years old this year! I am not sure how old you are in Heaven- all I know is that there is no time there and it is never dark. How you must be enjoying that beautiful place! We are so happy for you; yet we still miss you very much.

We will have a small party for you again later today. Grandma and Grandpa will be coming up to help us spend the day remembering you. I can't help but wish you were here to eat your cupcake and blow out your three candles. I wish you were here to chase after your balloons instead of having to catch them in the sky. As much as we all wish you could be here, we know that you would never choose to come back. For you are in a place where there is no pain, no sickness, no crying, and no Trisomy disorders. You are safe and never have to fear about anything. And most importantly, you are loved beyond measure. And because of that, I realize that as your earthly mother I have to be at peace with that. For whatever reason, it is God's plan that you live there and we live here for now.

So until the day comes where we all join you in Heaven, we will rest here-  knowing that you are being well taken care of. You are never forgotten. Your brother remembers you, and he wears his big brother shirt often because he is proud to be your brother. You will always be loved, and honored, and remembered.

Over 40 people are going to be doing something kind for someone else in your honor today. I know that you would be so happy about that. You have touched so many lives. You have helped us all become better people; and in spite of the pain we have suffered in losing you, we will not let it ruin us. Instead, we will take our pain and turn it into good things because we know that this is what you would have wanted.

Thank you for showing us what true love really is. I miss you, sweet boy. Until we meet again...

Love,

Your mama

Let's play Catch-up!

Once again I haven't been very good at posting. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get done everything I want to get done! I'm sure none of YOU ever feel like that though! ha!

There have been a few thing going on at our house- the first thing is we are finally in the matchbook!! What's a matchbook? It's a book or adoptive families that birthparents are shown at the adoption agency. Each family is required to write out some text, (kind of like a letter) and upload several photos of themselves. Our brother in law is a graphic design person so we had him do ours for us- it turned out really nice. (we had to stifle the urge to write the words "Pick Us" all through it!)

All that's left now is to finish up our fundraising, wait for the official certification from the judge, and wait for the official phone call. You know, THE phone call.  The call that lets you know that you have been picked by a birthmother to possibly parent her child. I have seriously thought that I should tell  my friends to stop calling me because everytime the phone rings my heart jumps out of my chest!!

It's a good thing that Jake started school this week and I have started my new job- it is helping to keep my mind busy. We have a great group of staff and students this year- I am very thankful for that.

I had planned to write more but I am pretty worn out so I think I will just go to bed. We hope to be able to announce a brand new fundraiser soon- we are so excited about it! It has to do with jigsaw puzzles...;)

Thank you for your prayers and support...it has been an incredible journey so far. Crossing our fingers and toes that this journey comes to a close very soon!!

The Winner of our Coffee/Tshirt Giveaway is...

#9....JULIE DIXON!!
Congratulations, Julie!

Winner has 48 hours to email me at jakesmom04@hotmail.com to accept her prize.
Please choose either Coffee or Tshirt...I will email you back for the details!

**Winner was selected using http://www.random.org/

The Power of Giving

We have had quite the amazing weekend here. Not only have we sold a good amount of adoption bracelets, but we also had a friend of ours organize a benefit yardsale. We met Melani a little over a year ago when she lost her little boy. She received one of the baskets we make for Granting Hope and was able to contact us through that. This past March she lost another little boy, and again, she received another of our baskets. Since we have known Melani, she has donated to Granting Hope, purchased supplies, baked cookies for last year's yardsale at our house, and now put together a two day yardsale herself in our honor.  I'm sure I don't have to tell you how much work a yardsale is- especially when you have kids. Melani is the most selfless person I know- in fact, (and I hope she won't mind me sharing this) last night she texted me and said that she felt she understood a little bit better a part of the reason why she lost her two boys..."I lost Evan and then met you because of it. If I hadn't lost Kayden I would be two weeks from delivering him now and wouldn't have been able to  hold this yardsale for you guys." I wanted to bawl- and I would have if I hadn't been in the middle of dinner at a restaurant at the time she texted this. All I want to say is how much I wish that she could still have Kayden- I would much rather she didn't have to go through yet another loss. I really think that she puts us all to shame. Especially me. I don't know that I could have stepped up and helped someone to this magnitude so recently after losing another child. God help us all to be more like Melani.

The yardsale brought in $715.  We needed $850 to confidently be able to go into the matchbook. (that is the short version of the story) The bracelets brought in $90 as of last night. I posted up on Facebook that we needed $45 more. Within a few minutes we had two more donations and an email. I opened the email and saw that it was from one of my fellow Trisomy angel mommy friends who I have only known through Facebook for a couple of months. She sells Trisomy awareness tshirts online and only makes about a $2 commission on the sale of each one. Well, she checked her earnings last night and saw that she had made-- you'll never guess the number-- $45!! Long story short, she said that she felt God telling her to give it to us because even though Grant is an angel, "you are still a Trisomy family." I've been bawling on and off for the last 24 hours!! I am completely speechless! 

I guess I had envisioned which people would most likely give to help us with our adoption fees. Some of these people came through for us, however, there are many who have not. As it turns out, God has shown us that He is fully capable of using even complete strangers to work out His plan in our lives. Things don't always work out the way that we think it will; but it will always work out the way He KNOWS it will.

To those of you have donated your time, your babysitting expertise as we attended adoption classes, your personal belongings for our yardsale, your shoulder to cry on,  your money- be it $3.00 or $100- we thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus.  In these tough economic times we know it is a struggle for a lot of people to give; yet that hasn't stopped many of you. Because of this, I know that God will pour out His blessings on you. We pray that we will somehow be able to be a part of that.

And to those of you who may be reading this and have not yet found the joy of giving- may I encourage you to begin. If not with us, then someone else you know who has a need. God will always always ALWAYS give back to you- and usually it's more than what you gave.

With a heart of gratitude,

Fundraiser/GIVEAWAY!!

My husband and I have been talking, and with some help from some friends of ours who are also adopting, we have come up with a pretty cool giveaway for you guys. Here are the details:

Please note- THIS FUNDRAISER/GIVEAWAY WILL ONLY BE OFFERED FOR ONE WEEK

From now until Monday, July 18 we are offering these super cute bracelets for a donation of $3.00 towards our adoption fees.  Color is purple; wording reads "Support Adoption" on one side, and "Matthew 18:5" on the other side.

IN ADDITION to the bracelets, you will receive an entry into our giveaway contest. One winner will be chosen randomly on Monday, July 18 and will be posted that evening with further instructions for the winner.
The winning name will receive their choice of EITHER of the following FREE: (and ya'll know how much I love the word FREE!)

• one bag of fair trade or fair trade organic coffee from www.justlovecoffee.com/abernathyadoption (value is $12.95-$13.45) Your choice!  We have decaf, blends, espresso, decaf espresso, dark, medium, etc. you name it, we probably have it!

Or...

• One tshirt from www.adoptionbug.com/abernathyadoption There are six designs to choose from on this page. Here is just one of the six designs:

( Value of tshirts starts at $16.99 up to $22.95.) Some shirts are also available in children's sizes!

 

Here are the rules:

 

1. Donate $3.00 for your "Support Adoption" Bracelet by clicking on the donate button on our blog at www.kjabernathy.blogspot.com
2. Please write a comment either on our blog in the comment section; or on Facebook and let us know you have donated  (this will allow us to contact you for your mailing address for your bracelet)
3. Visit our blog and/or our Facebook page for the winning results on Monday evening, July 18.
4. Spread the word- share a link on your Facebook page!!

As always, thank you for helping us to bring our daughter home! May God bless you for your compassionate heart!

Love and prayers,
and Kris, Jacob, & our soon to be little girl!

Where do we go from here?

I was going to get on here today and blog about our recent family vacation.  Now I am almost ashamed that we even WENT on vacation.  What were we thinking? I did ask my husband right before we left if maybe we should put it on hold since we are still trying to raise funds to pay our adoption fees. He said we will be fine and not to worry about it. So we went. And now today, he is telling me that while we DO have the fees covered to go INTO the matchbook; we still don't have enough money to pay for the placement of the baby. He is looking at things logically; I, of course,  am looking at things emotionally.

What happens if we go in the matchbook and we get a hospital call a week later or someone picks us to parent their child in two months? (not likely, but still  possible I guess)  We have to have the money to give the agency upon placement of the child, simple as that.  And WE. DON'T. HAVE.IT.

I'm sure I will be fine in a couple of hours, but right now I'm sad, angry, frustrated, and disappointed. I just want my daughter. I just want another child like every other NORMAL mother. Why can't I just get pregnant like most NORMAL  people? It's so much easier just to conceive and only wait nine months and your insurance pays for a lot of it. Why does it require thousands of dollars everytime I want a baby???! You know, the same old whining I always do...same old questions, same old "no good answers".

And if I say anything to anyone I always get the same answers-- "maybe you were only meant to have one living child". or "well, be thankful you have Jake" (as if I'm not)  or my PERSONAL favorite "be glad you only have one kid, having more kids is hard work".  When I hear that I feel like they are saying I should be glad that Grant died because having just Jake is so much easier.  That makes my heart hurt. So for the record here we go:

• I don't CARE how much extra work it is. I would like to have another child! Isn't that why YOU had another child?
• My son is tired of growing up alone.  Just two weeks ago he was crying in his bed because he wants his brother back.
• We want to help someone else who is hurting. Many birthmoms do not know what it's like to really know love. They have gone through unspeakable things; a great majority of them do not WANT to have to give up their role as a parent but because of circumstances they have no control over they are forced to make that decision. When they come to our agency they find love, support, and sometimes they find the Lord.
• Last, but not least, we feel our family is incomplete. Of course, without Grant it will never be FULLY complete; however, we feel like another child will only add good things to the family that we already do have here on earth.

At this point, I really don't know what is going to happen. And as disappointed as I am, I am going to need to step back and trust that God knows what He is doing. Maybe it's time to stop doing and start doing more LISTENING. "Be still, and know that I am God." Realizing that I cannot fully see the big picture yet; and mind you, it's HARD to focus on that when most of your friends and family are expecting babies again and you are still waiting in that back corner wondering if you will ever get your turn.  But if I keep pressing on and keep encouraging myself in the Lord, I know that one day there will be blessing and peace- not necessarily in my time, but in His.

Thanks for your continued prayers as we walk this road.

Forty Something...or other..

Forty is a nice number all by itself... it looks harmless, right? Yeah, that is- UNTIL YOU HIT IT! I remember when I thought 27 was old...there was this guy I had a crush on when I was 16 or so. He was 27. I thought he was old, but I thought he was really handsome too and I wanted a MATURE guy. hahahaha Oh my, the things that go through our minds when we are YOUNG and SILLY!!

Then when I was in my twenties I thought 30 was old...and now as of Sunday, June 19, I AM FORTY YEARS OLD! How did this happen? I was 28 on my wedding day (ok, that was TWO days shy of my 29th bday but that's beside the point) and now I am FORTY??!

Wow! Three days in and I'm still not sure what to make of it. The thought of it depressed me for awhile- mainly because of my inability to conceive. When you are 35, the fertility medical world calls you "Advanced Maternal Age." This simply means that your egg quality is going down, and your chances of having a baby with a genetic defect is higher. (yep, been there, done that) When you turn 40, many fertility clinics will no longer let you use your own eggs should you choose to do in vitro fertilization.  Yes, I realize that I am about to meet my daughter very soon; but until I SEE that reality I'm still a tad bit stuck in wishing I could also have one more biological child. Maybe I will always wish that- I don't know. I'll let you know when I get that far.

And the other depressing part about turning 40 -- is well- you just aren't 20 or 30 anymore. How much plainer can I put it? But before this blog turns into a novel, I'm going to cut to the chase-I'm ok with it now.
Here are the reasons why:

•  I have friends that went to heaven before they were 40. So --- I GET to be 40. 
• I think I look pretty good for 40. Sure, my belly isn't quite as flat as it used to be- but hey, I will wear that belly flab like a badge of courage. My two beautiful sons gave me that belly. (ok, and maybe those cupcakes)
• I'm on the upside of a number again.
• I'm having a baby at 40! (I certainly hope we get her before I'm 41 anyway) Kids keep you young, don't they?!

Now for the best part- MY Birthday Party!! We went to spend the weekend at my parent's house. Dad was by himself since my mom went to visit her sister in NY. So it worked out great that we could share my birthday AND Father's Day with him.
Sunday morning I woke up to the smell of pancakes. I got up and walked out to the living room only to have my brother physically turn me around and march me right back to the bedroom. (apparently he was decorating for a party--) About ten minutes later he let me come back out. And this is what I saw-

Oh my goodness- what a fun day! By the time we got to the cake my brother had me decked out in all kinds of fun stuff-

The hat said "Look who's forty?" My sash said, "Happy Birthday to me" and my button said, "It's my 40th!". I laughed so hard!
And speaking of cake...THE CAKE...it was from a REAL bakery, folks!! Nadine's Bakery in Tucson whipped me up this decadant wonder of wonders--

Heaven on a plate. Chocolate Fondant, Chocolate Ganache, raspberry filling...need I say more???

And the presents? Where do I start? Cards, and some cash, and the book "Heaven is for real". (thank goodness, because only about SIX people have suggested I read it)

And my hubby is taking me to the OCEAN to celebrate our anniversary AND my birthday!! FORTY ROCKS, people!!

VBS 2011- Rev it up, RACERS!

In the middle of all those birthday/anniversary parties we had VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL at church. I love VBS- it's exhausting but I love it anyway- So.Much.FUN!!

This year we didn't sign up to teach b/c Kris had to work; but I ended up helping with the 5-6 yr old class since I was bringing Jake every night anyway. This year the theme was "Rev it up!".  The only thing that would have made it better was if our friend Byron could have brought the race limo- can you imagine how fun that would be to let all the kids ride in the Interstate Batteries limo?

Here are a few pics of our class this year-

And here are a couple pics of the decorations-

Praise the Lord for the big turnout we had- the most we've ever had- over 70 kids came out!!

Parties upon Parties!

June is ALWAYS a CRAZY month for us. EVERYONE has a birthday...FRIENDS & FAMILY both. I'm not quite as behind as I was last year- I think I'm behind on two of my nieces and one sister in law at this point. Last year I was behind on just about everyone!

We started our June birthdays the end of May. Jake's friend Connor turned four the first week of June but his mom had to have his party early this year. I forgot my camera so I don't have pics of that one. =(
Then we had Haylee's party two Saturdays ago- Haylee also turned four. She lived two doors down from us at our old house. Jake and Haylee get along really well and they have missed each other since we moved. She was hilarious at her party- she dressed up like Rapunzel from the movie "Tangled" and everytime she opened a present (and mind you, EVERY present had something to do with Tangled)  she would say "Oh my Goooosh!" and "thank you soooo much!"

I'm really gonna miss our kids when they are out of this little kid CUTENESS EVERYWHERE stage. I try to enjoy every second of it because I know that one day we will blink and they will be off to college.

June 17 was our Eleventh Wedding Anniversary. I really cannot believe we have been married ELEVEN years! In some ways, it feels as if we have ALWAYS been together. I am beyond thankful for my husband- there are really no words to describe how much I truly love him. For all of the CRAP we have been through- and yet we are still here, still married, still ok-- and believe me, there were some REALLY hard times- and still in love- WOW! All I can say is that without a doubt, we are married to EXACTLY the right person. MEANT TO BE, honest to goodness SOUL-MATES.
That being said, here are the AHEM..."Beautiful" cupcakes I made from scratch for our anniversary- Chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting-

They might look like they were made by a Kindergartener, but they sure tasted good!!

CARS 2 and Heatstroke!!

It was Monday, June 6...Jake and I were on our way to see three of the cars from the upcoming movie, CARS 2. WOOHOO!! We were SUPER excited! Jake had already seen Lightening McQueen and Mater two years ago at Disneyland, but he was happy to go see them again. Now, he was also going to get to see one of the new CARS- Finn McMissile - so he couldn't wait to get there and see the "blue car".

Now you would think since we lived in the DESERT, and the forecast was calling for pleasant HOT crazy temperatures, they would hold this event indoors with the air conditioning CRANKED. But No! We pulled into the parking lot to see hundreds of folks standing in a line OUTDOORS.  Well, I put her in "park" and we got out and walked quickly to the line. I figured at the stroke of one that they would move the line through quickly since that was the time the event was scheduled to open. NO, SIREE! We stood in line almost TWO hours before we got in to the actual event! At that point sunburn was setting in, sweat was pouring down our bodies and I'm sure we smelled just like strawberries!  But hey, we met some interesting people in line and got to hear a bunch of babies and toddlers screaming from exhaustion!  This was one day where I was thankful to have an older child with me- of course, had I had a baby or toddler I'm sure I would have left long before we got to the front.

Jake was happy and thought it was all worth it and that's what counts, right?! He got a Lightening McQueen tatoo, magnet, and CARS 2 poster which we just HAD to hang on his wall the MINUTE we got home.  Here are the photos that were taken on site- please keep in mind we have just waited in the sun for nearly two hours before you make your judgments on how utterly FABULOUS we look! HA!

And that's a WRAP, folks!

JUNE Fundraiser

There are many reasons that Kris & I hated to move out of our old neighborhood- one reason being we lived two doors down from our friends Josh & Shelley.  They have been great neighbors and have done a lot for us in the three years we lived there.

That being said, Josh has recently started his own business ( Elite Digital Services) as an authorized local retailer for Dish Network and Direct TV. Beginning Wednesday, JUNE 1,  Elite Digital Services will donate $75.00 to our ADOPTION FUND for each person who decides to switch from CABLE to Dish or Direct TV!!!!

Here are the details:

 Tired of your cable bill increasing?? For the month of JUNE,  Elite Digital Services is offering a FREE no hassle consultation (either in home or over the phone) to review your TV, phone, and internet services. He will show you how to customize a package that SAVES YOU MONEY. If you decide to switch, Elite Digital Services will donate $75 to the Abernathy Adoption Fund.

Packages starting as low as $24.99 with FREE equipment and FREE installation in up to 6 rooms!

Please call Josh at (480) 707-1182 or email him at Josh.Coplan@elitedigitalservices.com to take advantage of this AWESOME deal.  ****Please note: You will need to mention you heard about him from the Abernathy Adoption in order for us to receive the credit.

Start the savings NOW and help support our adoption all at the same time!! Woohoo!! Thank you!

Did you remember the CAMERA??

Yeah, that was the question of the evening last night.  On one of the biggest nights in our child's life- KINDERGARTEN graduation- we forgot the camera.
Actually, it was K.R.I.S. who was in charge of bringing the camera. And bless his heart, he tried so hard- he charged the battery all day, he cleared the memory card...and then my parents walked in the door. Between that and getting Jacob dressed, making sure we had the teacher's gifts and Jacob's graduation cards in hand- well, the camera got left on the table.

We got all the way to school- which is now 29 miles away since we moved last December- before I remembered to ask my husband if he brought the camera. He didn't even answer- the look on his face said it all. There was nothing we could do. By the time we went anywhere to buy one, we would miss part or all of the graduation. It was not until the whole thing was over that I remembered that one of our GOOD FRIENDS who lives RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE SCHOOL would have been happy to lend us her camera!! UGH! Where was my brain?? If you find it anywhere, please let me know!

We got a few pics with our cell phones; and one of the other parents promised to tag us some photos on Facebook. All in all it was a wonderful evening- we were so proud of Jacob! He learned the whole program in a week's time! (if you remember, I homeschool him; and he only goes to school Friday mornings for Chapel and P.E., with the exception of the last month where they allowed him to come the entire morning on Fridays.)

They sang songs in English AND Spanish, signed the entire alphabet with their clue words in sign language; they called out words that the teacher signed to them, quoted Psalm 23, and more. What bright little scholars we had there! They were just too cute! And I just sat there with tears running down my face, thankful for that little miracle that came into our lives six years ago. He is just so precious!

After it was all over we had cake outside, posed for more pictures, and then it was off to Barros pizza with grandma and grandpa! What a great and memorable night it was!

It's a Jungle out there!

I homeschool Jake every day; however, Fridays are special days. He gets to spend the morning at the school he did PreK in- Calvary Christian. Yesterday his class had a field trip to the zoo and we met them all there. What a fabulous day for the zoo! The weather was cool, the sky was bright, and there was a slight breeze blowing. I took several photos, but here are some of my favorites:

I figured I may as well start off with our very own Grand Canyon rattlesnake!! My dad sees rattlesnakes quite a bit since he lives right in the desert; however, I have been lucky not to have seen one yet. (other than at the zoo of course!)

This little guy wasn't afraid of ANYTHING!! He scurried out into the path right in front of us!!

Here is a photo of Jake with his class, (He is wearing a tan hat; behind the boy in the blue hat)  listening to the guide talk about the animals they were looking at--

Our favorite exhibits for the day though were these--

Who's the king of the jungle??? Obviously, THIS GUY!!!!

This is the closest I've EVER gotten to see this fellow! I think TIGERS are so pretty!

Jake likes cheetahs because they are the fastest runners!

The new orangutan exhibit was cool; but all the orangutans put palm tree leaves over the heads that day- guess it keeps them cool.

What's a zoo without elephants???

And most importantly, what's a zoo trip without a crazy class picture???

Thanks, Kindergarten Class! We had lots of fun!