Friday, September 26, 2008

Six Weeks

It is hard to believe that six weeks have already passed since the birth of our second son. We miss him terribly and will always wish he could be here with us. But for now, we are finding ways to cope with this loss; and realizing more than ever how important it is to spend as much time with our other son as we can. All to soon he will be grown and we will wonder where the time has gone.

We received a call from the doctor's office yesterday concerning the results of the long awaited chromosome studies that were done on Grant when he was born. The nurse said that "nothing came of it." I had to ask her to repeat and explain. She said that there was not enough cell growth on the skin for them to see exactly what happened to Grant. First of all, I cannot believe it took them six weeks to tell us nothing. (Kris and I are wondering if they even did the test) Or...the genetic doctor was right and they were wrong. He wanted the hospital to take samples from Grant's thigh muscle rather than the skin- for that very reason that there may not be enough skin growth. The doctor who delivered Grant was very adamant that there was enough and that he wasn't going to do it any other way. We grew tired of arguing with him so we went ahead and let him take just the skin samples. So now here we are- it looks like we will never know exactly what happened to our baby. Maybe it will turn out to be the best thing- maybe not but it doesn't appear that anyone can do anything about it. I called the genetic doctor again and so far no response.

I attempted my first Sunday night back to church this last week. Kris and Jake had already gotten that out of the way a few weeks before, but I wasn't feeling up to it until recently. Recovery from the C section has taken much longer than I had anticipated. Anyway, everyone at church was very sweet- and I think I worked myself up over nothing, really. Just nerves, I guess. Pastor wanted to know if he and his wife could come over and bring us dinner the next evening, and we agreed. All day long Monday I was anxious about how this visit would go. (Keep in mind I haven't talked to them much since everything happened and since I still have a hard time getting out a complete sentence without crying I was afraid I would get emotional) Well, I shouldn't have worried, for they brought dinner, a gift, and a whole lot of love. What a blessing they have been to us through these times!

In spite of our sadness, our hearts are joyful for all the blessings we have been given through the love, support, and prayers of our family and friends. This journey would no doubt have been much more difficult without them. We continue to covet your prayers and thoughts and are much appreciative. Thank you!


  1. six weeks is a good milestone, at least it's been one for me. Hard though because I don't want the memories to fade. c-sections are a beast, I hear ya on that one.
    I"m sorry about the skin cells. but don't go crazy with all the what if's. it wasn't your responsibility to know what was best, you spoke up and then trusted what the dr. said. The medical world is not perfect and they will make mistakes. But you can't let this get to you too much. I went through the same thing of saying... it has to be genetic...while at the same time being grateful it wasn't or so they said. but I think I just wanted answers and that isn't always what God deems best. you and I will just have to trust God all the more in our future pregnancies. we will battle fear, yes. But God is greater and promises good for His children. whatever that may look like.
    Love you girl. I'm praying for you.
    ~ Casey

  2. I just read this on a blog I enjoy reading:
    It was written by Steven Curtis Chapman after his daughter was killed in a tragic accident. The song's title is "Yours"

    I've walked the valley of death's shadow
    So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
    I've had to let go of more than I could bear
    And questioned everything that I believe
    But still even here
    in this great darkness
    A comfort and hope come breaking through
    As I can say in life or death
    God we belong to you

    You are still in my prayers!

    Jill (from the mom's group)

  3. Kris and Jody,
    I think of you so often, and I have so much my heart wants to say. Putting it into words is hard. I received this poem from Aunt Fuzzy when I was going through a very tough time. She sent it simply with a note that said I love you.
    "I Said a Prayer for You Today"
    I said a prayer for you today and know God must have heard.
    I felt the answer in my heart although He spoke no word.
    I didn't ask for wealth or fame, I knew you wouldn't mind.
    I asked Him to send treasures of a more lasting kind.
    I asked that He'd be near you at the start of each new day.
    To grant you health and blessings and friends to share your way.
    I asked for happpiness for you, in all things great and small.
    But it was for His loving care I asked for most of all.
    Much love,
    Leslie your cousin


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