Saturday, May 9, 2009

Catching up

Wow, it feels like I haven't been on here in forever! (with the exception of changing everything around) Life just gets in the way, I suppose. We have been staying busy with housecleaning, shopping, preschool prep, and just hanging out.

We had revival meetings at our church the end of April with Bro. Billy Bevan. He and his wife Shara and their three boys are such a neat family! We got to go out to eat with them after one of the services and had lots of fun getting to know them. The last service with them was great, he spoke about Heaven, we sang songs about Heaven, and by the time we were done I wanted to BE in Heaven! In listening to the sermon, I got even more homesick for Heaven, as if that were even possible. I am reminded that "this World is not my home, I'm just a passin thru". At this point, I wish I could just skip the "passin thru" part b/c I am ready to see the Son-- and MY son too! I really can't wait for the "and God shall wipe away every tear" part. I am so ready to be done with the tears and struggles of this life. But until it's time to go, we press on.

After revival we were a bit tired so we stayed home for a few days and just relaxed. Jake likes bubbles now and I had bought him a whole box full of different bubble wands, a bubble gun, and two massive jars of bubble liquid. I think we are set for awhile! He can stay outside for hours with bubbles if you let him.

We also visited the cemetery and took up some new flowers. My neighbor Shelley had a box of those decorations that you leave out in the sun all day and then they light up in the evening. She was going to put them in her garage sale but I confiscated them before she could. =) It has a set of three decorations in there and we found the perfect use for them all. Jake took care of things right away- he picked out the dragonfly for Grant up at the cemetery, and the hummingbird for Grant and butterfly for Mrs. Karen in our flower memorial garden in the backyard. So, we took the dragonfly up the other weekend and placed it in Grant's flower vase along with his new flowers. While we were there, we noticed a tiny green plastic Easter egg laying on Grant's grave that had his name written on it. We looked around and saw that every baby and toddler had an easter egg with their name written on it too, placed beside each of their graves. We have no idea who put them there, but we thought it was a very sweet and special gesture.

I've also been working on Operation "Granting Hope". The resource list for the baskets is now ready to be printed...if only we had some printer ink! Hopefully we will be able to get that soon. In the meantime, we are just about ready to assemble the baskets, notify the hospital, and start distribution. Those of you who have inquired about donations will be able to donate soon. Until we are able to set up the non-profit, we will set up an account for you to be able to send your donations. If you would rather donate objects for the baskets, you can send those here to us. Please email me for the address. We cannot get all of this ready fast enough!! Every day that goes by, in my opinion, is another day where a bereaved family could have had these resources.
As soon as the baskets are assembled, I will post a picture up for you to view.

So tomorrow is Mother's Day. Ever since Kris and I have struggled with infertility, Mother's Day and Father's Day were our least favorite holidays. However, last Mother's Day was a pretty good Mother's Day. Grant was still happily playing in my belly, and we were none the wiser that he had a fatal condition. This year, things are obviously different. Grant is no longer here, and so really, I have no desire to celebrate anything. I'm not even sure about the church thing tomorrow, as I am terrified of what will go on in the service. Will the pastor ask the newest mommies to stand up? Do I even qualify? What do I do? Last week, he asked "how many of you have more than one child?" I hesitated and then decided to raise my hand. It seems there is always something to remind me of the beautiful child I lost. We wonder if there will ever come a time when it doesn't feel like a huge, dark abyss in our hearts. So for now, we try to keep our focus on our beautiful child who is still with us, our Jacob. He is the joy of our lives and the strength of our heart. There is no doubt in my mind that I could not have made it these last eight months without him. He keeps me sane, he makes me smile, and he does whatever he can to keep me busy! Thank God for the blessing of our mischievious little four year old!

So tomorrow, we will see what happens. Maybe we will just go down and visit my parents and celebrate MY MOM. She has been a huge help to us over the past year and a half. The best part of my mom, is that she really has no clue about how great she really is. Never a dull moment with her, either! =)
For the rest of you moms out there, I hope you have a happy one full of love and God's richest blessings on you and yours!

Until next time...


  1. What a blessing you are. Thanks for always sharing your heart, fears, concerns, sadness and joys. You will ALWAYS be the mom of two children. I love that title. Brent just got me new computer (sort of a mothers' day gift), and I have taken pictures of all the wonderful things we got in our "basket". I promise to get them out to you this week.

  2. Jody,
    I had the same feelings this Mother's Day, and blogged about it myself. I finally came to the conclusion. Mother's Day is about the gifts that a Mom gives... LOVE. We love our little ones in any capacity possible and charish the moments we had.

    With a heavy heart filled with love I am sending you a hug filled with peace and hope for good days.



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