Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It's Another Day

I attempted to go out in public for the first time with my mom the other day. We went to Old Navy to exchange some pants for Jake. The first thing out of the cashier's mouth was " I'd like to let you know that we are having a HUGE Baby sale today..." I stopped listening after that. She went on and on with me looking at the floor trying not to cry. I finally asked her what they had in Jake's sizes on sale. I know I'm going to have to get used to this, but it was my FIRST day out in three weeks for goodness sakes!

Today Kris, Jake, and I went back to the funeral home to pick out what no parent should ever have to pick out- Grant's grave marker. Thank you all for praying- we made it all the way through to the end before we started crying. That's really good for us! I am attaching a very rough look at it so you can see. We chose a Baby Block, the color is called Sunset Beige; the lettering and picture will be cast in bronze. The circle on the left shows where the flower vase will go. As soon as it comes in we will take a picture and post it on here in place of the rough draft.

After that we decided to go to Michael's and pick out some flowers for Grant's temporary flower vase on his grave. Since neither of us have a clue about floral arranging we got some suggestions from Kris's sister- thanks, Melissa! We also got help from one of the ladies who worked there. She was very nice, and very sensitive to our needs and explained how as hard as it is now, later we will actually enjoy picking out different flowers and arrangements for his grave. I can see how she could be right- it's all we have left over that we can do for him as his parents. It has always comforted me to find even the smallest way that I can be mommy to him.

We then came home and vegged out in front of the t.v. and I fell asleep while Kris worked on the mounds of paperwork that have come in the mail. Jake has been pretty good today- playing with his new birthday toys. He still prays for his brother every night- he still says "pray for Grant Thomas cuz he went to heaven and we don't know why" no matter how many times we try to tell him Grant was sick. We got a CD today from the funeral home about how little children process things so maybe we will get some insight into his little mind.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers for us. The cards you have sent have been a source of encouragment and we appreciate them so much.


  1. I love the music on your blog! I have it going now as I spend time on the computer....You have been constantly on my mind and in my prayers. And I pray for you guys every time I pass by your community on my way to the freeway.


  2. As time passes things will get easier, but just knowing or hearing that doesn't really help now. The three of you are still in our prayers as much as ever.

    Children do process death so much differently than adults. They are so innocent to the pain of this world. Victoria still 2 1/2 years after losing my grandmother who she was so close to will grieve like it was a fresh loss. I'll find her bawling and she will tell me it is because she misses Gran-gran.

    I'll be praying for y'all as well as you walk Jake through this whole process.


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