"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown
I came across your blog from Casey and Dan Chappell's blog. My husband and I also lost our first child the same night Casey and Dan lost Asher. Carter, our son, was born at 22 weeks because of an infection that I had. He lived an hour and 21 minutes before leaving to go home to be with Jesus. We had his funeral and were saying goodbye on the day that Grant came was born. I can't help but picture Asher, Grant, and Carter in heaven playing and running around together. My husband and I have never been through anything like this before (as most parents haven't). It has been a test of our faith for sure. Our pastor wrote a book after he lost his first wife to cancer. The title of the book as well as my favorite quote has become: When we can't trace God's hand, we trust His heart." Brent and I are continuing to trust the Lord's heart and His perfect plan. I am not pleased with the plan He chose of course (we waited 6 years to finally have a baby only to lose him before his life began.) Now at almost 35 years of age, Brent and I are praying that in God's timing He will allow us to have more children. As a mom, I know I feel cheated, not being able to finish my pregnancy, or nurse my son, or hold my son and protect him from the world. At the same time, we love the Lord and trust that He is good and works all things for good, according to His purpose and for those who love Him. Thanks for sharing your story. I have added you to my blog so that we can continue to pray for you and your family. I am looking forward to seeing what the Lord does with your lives, our lives and the Chappell's lives.
ReplyDeleteTrusting God's heart,
Jenna Spears