Friday, December 4, 2009

I Will Trust You

"God has every right, and my permission, to rearrange my life at any any order to fulfill His plan for it's influence, to His glory."
These words are written on a sticker that I placed in the front of my Bible while in Bible college some years ago. I remember the day we got those stickers, and how easy it seemed at that time for me to totally submit to those words. Little did I know that one day those would be the most difficult words to read, and harder still to follow them.

A few days after Grant's delivery, my father in law brought me my Bible ( I believe he had been borrowing it when he went to church while he was here) and turned it to the first page, pointing at this very sticker. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember what I thought. "Yes, but I have lost my CHILD...there has to be an exception!"

No, my friends, there are no exceptions when it comes to God. He wants us to wholly give ourselves to Him for His use- not just part of ourselves, or specific little parts we have picked out to give Him- He wants it ALL. It is only when He has all of us that He can truly work out His perfect plan for our lives. Romans 12:1 says, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a LIVING SACRIFICE..."

We are never going to fully understand everything that God is doing in our lives, or the reasons why. This is because we are human, and we cannot see the future, the big picture of what our life is supposed to be. We simply have to trust that He knows what is ahead for us and let Him guide us along the way. He has promised to be with us in the vallies- even though we may not always see Him, He is there.

Kris just bought me the newest Steven Curtis Chapman CD, "Beauty Will Rise." For those of you who may not know, Steven and his family lost one of their beautiful adopted little girls in a tragic accident back in May of 2008. I remember sitting on the couch crying my eyes out, not ever dreaming that in just a little over two months I would also lose my child. This CD is the most wonderful and touching CD and I would encourage all of you to purchase it; because there will come a day, when it will be your turn to be in the valley, and this collection of songs will be so encouraging to you or even someone you may know who is going through a difficult time.

Every song is perfect for me, but especially this one. There were times in my grief when I would stand in the shower and literally be bent over the shower drain, sobbing so hard it felt like my insides were going to fall out. The words to this song are exactly how I have felt, and words that I say to myself almost everyday so that I can get through my day. I hope you are blessed.

I Will Trust You

I don't even want to breathe right now

All I want to do is close my eyes,

And I don't want to open them again;

Till I'm standing on the other side.

I don't even want to be right now,

I don't want to think another thought;

And I don't want to feel this pain I feel

But right now pain is all I've got;

It feels like it's all I've got- but I know it's not

And I will trust You, I"ll trust You

Trust You God, I will

Even when I don't understand

Even then I will say again

You are my God, and I will trust in You.

God, I'm waiting for the day to come

When this cloudy glass I'm looking through

is shattered in a million pieces;

And finally I can just See You.

God You know I believe it's true,

I know I will SEE You, but until the day I do

I will trust You, I'll trust You,

Trust You God, I will

Even when I don't understand

Even then I will say again,

You are my God, and I will trust You.

And with every breath I take, and for every day that breaks, I will trust You, I will trust You. And when nothing is making sense, even then I will say again God, I trust You, I will trust YOu. I know Your heart is good, I know Your love is strong, and I know Your plans for me, are much better than my own. So I will trust You, trust You, I trust You God, I will. Even when I can't SEE the end, And I will trust You, I will trust You.

1 comment:

  1. That is beautiful Jody. Im going to have to get that cd. *HUGS*


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