We are ADOPTING...

...as if the picture of Jake didn't give it away! Yes, after years of infertility, endless tests and injections, hormone meds, surgery, charting my basal body temperature for months on end, one IVF, one miracle Jacob, two failed FETs, and one stillbirth- we are calling it quits. Well, technically, we'll always be "trying", but just without anymore tests, meds, treatments, and general worry and stress about it. I used to wonder, "how do people know when enough is enough?" Now I know the answer to that question because we are there. We have officially, "had enough." We are completely EXHAUSTED emotionally and physically. It's kind of scary, really, to be at this point, and giving it all up (as if I ever really had any control over the situation anyway). I will never understand why, I will never think it was fair, but I am choosing to trust that God has a bigger and better plan for our lives.

We have always talked about adopting a child right from the start of our infertility struggles. I have a ginormous box of information folders from several agencies across the U.S. to prove it! However, something always comes up and it gets put on the back burner. So, unless we get another surprise pregnancy, we are on the road to a new adventure. We feel very strongly that everyone should adopt at least one child. If every couple adopted one child, we would have far less children without loving parents and homes. God has called us to "care for the orphan" and so that is what we are going to do. We have no idea how it will all work out, or how long it will take; but if this is truly what God has for us, then he will take care of the rest. All we do is step out in faith, and obedience to what He has called us to do. (and maybe have a fundraiser or two along the way!)

We will be working with Christian Care Family Agency, out of Phoenix, http://www.cfcare.org/; this agency comes highly recommended by two people that we know so we aren't exactly jumping in head first. We have already sent in our paperwork with our first official "fee" (how exciting, our first "fee"!) and are now awaiting a call from our case worker to begin our homestudy. Kris and I will be taking 7 weeks of classes beginning April 13. In the meantime, we are busy gathering necessary documents, working on our letter to the birthmothers, and beginning our scrapbook of photos and fun for the birthmoms to check out. After that, we sit tight and wait. The average wait right now is up to twelve months; I figure I've waited years for both of my children, so what's another year of waiting?! We are just excited to be adding to our family, no matter how long it takes.

So Jacob and Grant will be big brothers, and Jacob is pretty excited about that as it is something he has wanted since Grant was in my tummy. Some of you know that when Grant was alive, Jake kept begging for a "I'm the Big Brother" t-shirt. It broke our hearts when he came to the hospital to see his brother and he asked, "can I have my big brother shirt now?"

This past weekend, we went and found him a wonderful shirt, as you can see in the photo. "Greatest Big Brother." In our eyes, he IS the greatest big brother. He has had to go through what no sibling should EVER have to go through, and he has been so brave through it all. So to us, Jake deserves to wear a big brother shirt, just as much as any other kid, if not more.

We hope you will keep this new leg of our journey, our "paper pregnancy" in your prayers. We are surely going to need LOTS of prayers as this will be some kind of ride. We know that it is not going to be easy; however, just like any pregnancy, paper or otherwise, it will be worth it when our child is in our arms.

Matthew 18:5 And whoso shall receive one such little child, in my name, receiveth Me.

Thank you for your prayers, and we will update when we can.