Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Adoption Class last night!

We are happy to tell you that our adoption class went better than we could have imagined.  I am so amazed at how God orchestrates things behind the scenes- especially when it is just so obvious!  Here is what happened:

We drove into the agency parking lot several minutes early; however, almost immediately we saw a few couples lined up at the door.  The first thing I said was, "I'm not interested in making friends with these people because they are going to be our competition." Yes, I can almost see your mouths dropping-- I am a horrible, horrible person! Will somebody tell me what in the world is wrong with me?! Sometimes things just jump out of my mouth- and I wish I would've left them in my mouth for at least another 30 seconds so that maybe I would have been able to prevent the madness. Has this ever happened to you?
My husband replied, something to the effect of, "Now don't be like that, let's just wait and see what happens."

We then got out of the truck and headed inside, my nerves on edge. I guess I was nervous about the unknown; and could not believe we were here, and really doing this! We signed in, and then were directed down the hallway and into a room filled with tables and chairs.  When everyone was present and accounted for, we began by introducing ourselves and telling about how and why God has brought us to adoption, and to use this agency.  This is what I mean when I said how amazing it is when you see God working- the couple right next to us went first in the introductions; and they had lost a baby too- in AUGUST, but August 2009. (We lost Grant August 2008) Their baby was also a boy, and he too succumed to a genetic disorder. They do have three other boys at home; and have now decided they would like to adopt a girl. So when we got to intermission- we spent the whole break talking about our babies!

We also met a couple whose nephews attend the same school I substitute teach in!! (I know them well, because I see them for lunch & recess every day!) I told you it's amazing how God brings folks together!!
The other couples had a variety of reasons why they were adopting. Two couples had had a miscarriage and were unable to conceive again; two or three other couples had no idea if they were able to conceive or not; their families had been built by adoption so they wanted to make their first child an adopted child.  This goes to show you that adoption is NOT plan B.  Even folks who can conceive want to give a child a forever home. I wish that everyone felt like that; we'd certainly have a lot less children in our foster care systems.

After the initial introductions I felt ashamed for what I had said in the car. There is a reason for the people that God places in your life; and if we remain open to what He has planned for us, we are sure to be blessed.  Sometimes, it's not even about the blessing of God upon us; but the blessing that we can be to someone else. 

We then listened as our teacher opened our meeting with a word of prayer.  We began by following along in our notebooks as our teacher began to read and discuss Arizona Adoption Laws.  We learned about our rights as adoptive parents, and also the rights of the birthparents.  We learned about open, semi-open, and closed adoption; and why open adoption is so much better for the child. The truth is always better than a lie; and the more the child knows about his biological family, the less inclined he is to have resentment issues later on. Christian Family Care has helped hundreds of families successfully come together; and most of them are through open adoptions. 

One thing we learned that I didn't know was that there are different laws in place if the baby you adopt is of Native American descent. (we live in Arizona; so the chance of adopting a Native American baby is high; unless you just specify that you would rather not) There is actually a name for these laws- it's called ICWA. (Indian Child Welfare Act) While I don't fully understand all of these laws, I did get that sometimes the birthmother might still be living on the reservation; and it may be up to the whole tribe whether or not she can place her baby for adoption with a non-Native American family.

After that, we discussed our paperwork; and the timelines of certification, matching, and placement.  The only thing I'm a little anxious about is putting together our match letter (letter and pictures for the birthparents to see and hopefully select you to parent their child) It was reassuring to know though, that it only needs to be 1-3 pages long; and that the birthmoms like to see more pictures than they want to read a lot of text. In other words, keep it short and sweet and to the point!

We are looking forward to the next six classes; they are very informative and helpful. I am thankful for what I have learned already; not so much the things on paper; but the things in my heart. Next week's topic is "Infertility, grief & loss".  Please keep us in prayer as that will be an emotional class for all of us. Thank you!


  1. Haha...I love your initial thought/words, because they are honest! How quickly they can change though!!! I think adoption is amazing, and God really is involved in every apect of it!

  2. Oh you can not feel bad about your initial thoughts Jody. It is easy to see all the other people in the class as competition. What I viewed as His work was softening your heart to those that shared your path, similar story or not. He was working on you!

    Praying you will be the first selected!

    Sending you love,

  3. Thanks for sharing your heart, Jody! We know of a couple who tried to go through the Native American adoption process and it didn't work out so well. Be careful if you go that route. It really is a "different world" on the reservation with their own laws, too.



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