Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day Musings

It's Mother's Day. A day of mixed emotions for me. Before Jake was born, I loathed Mother's Day. Kris and I would get up and go to church and listen to the preacher as he gave out gifts to all the moms. Roses for the oldest mothers, and for the mothers with the newest baby. All the mothers were asked to stand- and I felt humiliated because I could never stand. A few years later we were able to conceive because of a high tech fertility treatment- and nine months later, I was FINALLY a mom. I could finally stand up with all the other moms at church; and I was thankful. But for some reason, I still felt weird about Mother's Day.

And then, miraculously, I found myself pregnant with Grant. That year I was on bedrest for Mother's Day but at least I had both boys with me- alive and breathing. After Grant passed away that old feeling came back; and I've hated Mother's Day again ever since. I gave birth to TWO boys; so I should have TWO boys with me on Mother's Day. For the last two years I have been unable to get out of bed for Mother's Day; all I did was cry. My poor father- he knew what was going on. He called me both years and would say "Hi. How are you doing?" He knew I couldn't get out of bed...

But this year was different. I'm not sure why? My best guess is..TIME. Sometimes Time is our enemy; other times- well, maybe it is our friend. I got out of bed this morning and went to church. I stood up with the other mothers, and you better believe I raised my hand high when the Pastor asked "How many of you have more than ONE child?"! While Mother's Day will always be a bittersweet time for me, I have realized that the number of children you have does not define you as a mother. Whether your children are in heaven or on this earth - that doesn't define you as a mother either. What defines a mother, is simply the love that she has in her heart. So for those who ARE mothers- whether you hold your babies in your arms, or you hold them in your heart; whether you are still longing to have a child, or are content to be a second mom to everyone else's children- I wish you a wonderful day. Because you ARE a beautiful mother who deserves to be celebrated and honored for who you are.

Blessings to you and yours,

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