Mother's Day...Reflections

Dear Jacob,
I just wanted you to know how incredibly thankful I am to be your mom. Most days I feel that I am not worthy of that title. You see, being a parent is an enormous responsibility; and sometimes it overwhelms me. I have one shot at this and I pray every day that I am doing it right.

I think back to all that your dad and I went through in order for you to be here. And you know what? It was worth it! Every doctor's visit, every medication, every prayer and every tear- I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. You are my precious miracle- my crazy, silly, note writing, lego loving, everything lime green, fast paced, NEVER sit still for a minute BOY. You make me laugh, you try my patience, and yet you know exactly the minute to pat my arm and say "It's gonna be ok, mommy." Thank you for making me a mom; and most of all, thank you for being YOU. I love you!

My little angel boy, Grant,
Even though you are not here, I see you everywhere. I see you in your brother's face; I see you in all the three year olds at school. I see you when I look up at the beautiful summer sky; and I see you in the beautiful sunset disappearing behind the mountains. I think of you still, every single day.

 I wonder what it will be like the day I am finally able to see you smile at me for the first time. I can't wait for you to take my hand and show me all the happiness that you have been living in all this time. But then again, there is no time in Heaven; so it will seem like I was always there with you. What a beautiful day that is going to be. I will always want you. I will always love you. You are forever a part of our family. I am so honored that God chose me to be your mom- though it was only for a little while. Thank you for all of the gifts that you left behind. I am proud to be a mother of two sweet little boys; and I will be spending the day celebrating you both. With all of my heart and soul,

 Mommy