The Aftermath

So much has happened the last few months. Many of my close friends and family know, and in time I may blog about it. But for now, I just cannot talk about it. 

Have you ever been stuck in a particular season in your life that you just want to get out of? Do you feel like you have taken three steps forward only to take five steps back? That is the place where I find myself at this time in my life. I am so broken. Yet there are many days when I have no more tears left. Sometimes I even laugh because I cannot cry any longer. The one thing that I desire most in this world is so far out of reach. I wonder why the door seems to keep slamming in my face. Is this really it? Is this really how it's going to end?

My motto has always been "Never give up on your dreams." But what if your dreams give up on you? And why? What is the reason for it? What is the point? I have all of these questions; yet no answers for any of them. The only thing I really know for certain is that I am TIRED. I am SPENT. Physically, emotionally...in every way possible. There is a song by Matthew West entitled "The Reason for the World." And yes, the lyrics to this song are also full of "maybes". But as long as we are in this life; nothing is for certain. When I listen to this song, some of the confusion and uncertainty in my head goes away; and at this point in my life even a small amount of that goes a long way.

  The Reason For the World 


There are no words in times like these 
When tears don't hide the tragedies 
And all you want is a reason for the world 
No comfort in a greeting card 
Cause "God is good" 
But life's still hard 
and your heart just wants a reason for the world
  
"Cuz maybe the reason for the PAIN 
Is so we would pray for strength 
And maybe the reason for the strength 
Is so that we would not lose hope 
And maybe the reason for our hope 
Is so that we could face the world 
And the reason for the world is to make us long for HOME. 


Well I know your past the point of broken 
Surrounded by your fear 
I know you're feet are tired and weary
from the road that you walk down here 
But just keep your eyes on Heaven 
and know that you are not alone 
remember the reason for the world- 


No ear has heard 
No eye has seen 
Not even in your wildest dreams
the beauty that awaits beyond this world 
When you look into the eyes of grace 
and hear the voice of MERCY say "Child, welcome to the reason for the world."